GRAND CENTRAL STATION FREEZES!

WHAT A COOL PRANK!

BOBBY CALDWELL!

ALL OR NOTHING AT ALL -- TAPED DURING A RECENT TOUR OF JAPAN!

BOBBY CALDWELL ENTERTAINMENT NEWSLETTER!

WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO CATCHING BOBBY'S ACT 'UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL' AT CATALINA JAZZ CLUB IN THE MIDDLE OF MARCH -- IT SHOULD BE A GREAT SHOW BY A GREAT PERFORMER.

BOBBY CALDWELL ENTERTAINMENT NEWSLETTER!
Dear Friends,

Please visit www.bobbycaldwell.com and click on The Store to purchase your copy of the new CD, "Bobby Caldwell Live at The Blue Note Tokyo. Presently, this release is exclusively available on Bobby's website, and at Bobby's shows.

Check out Bobby's "News" page for the latest installment of Viewpoint by Holly the Bulldog.

I have attached Bobby's latest Tour Schedule, and I'll keep you informed of upcoming events. Hope to see you at a show!

Meanwhile, feel free to write to Bobby at info@bobbycaldwell.com.

BOBBY CALDWELL TOUR DATES

VISIT www.bobbycaldwell.com

February 23, 2008
Bobby Caldwell with Special Guest, Joyce Cooling
Celebrity Theatre
440 N 32nd St.
Phoenix, AZ
For tickets: 602-267-1600 or
www.celebritytheatre.com
Showtime: 8:00PM VIP tickets available.
Tickets on sale 10/26.

February 28 & 29
Harrah's New Orleans
8 Canal Street
New Orleans, LA 70130
For tickets: www.ticketmaster.com or 504:533-6600
Doors open at 7:30
Showtime: 8:00PM
Tickets: $35 and $45
Must be 21 to enter

March 7 & 8
Java Jazz Festival
Jakarta, Indonesia
For details and tickets please visit:
http://www.javajazzfestival.com/2008/

March 21, 22 & 23
Bobby Caldwell Up Close and Personal
Catalina Bar and Grill
6725 West SUNSET Blvd.
Hollywood, CA. 90028
Tel. (323) 466-2210 Fax (323) 466-9217
www.catalinajazzclub.com
Showtimes:
Friday and Saturday 8:30 p.m. & 10.30 p.m.
Sunday 7.30 p.m. & 9.30 p.m.
Doors open for dinner at 7:00pm Friday & Saturday
and 6:00pm on Sunday

March 29, 2008
Winter Breakout III - A Night of Smooth Jazz Bobby will appear with Chieli Minucci & Special EFX and Kim Waters
Akron Civic Theatre
182 S. Main St
Akron, OH 44308
Showtime: 7:30 PM
Ticket info:
Ticketmaster online at www.ticketmaster.com or by phone at 330-945-9400 (Akron) or 216-241-5555 (Cleveland), and through the Akron Civic Theatre by visiting www.akroncivic.com or by calling 330-253-2488.

Benefit for :
www.akrongeneral.org/
Proceeds benefit Edwin Shaw Rehab.

April 26th, 2008
The Las Vegas City of Lights Jazz and R&B Festival at Hills Park at
Summerlin
Saturday, April 26, 2008

Please join Bobby Caldwell and his band for a great day of music.
The festival runs from 1-10PM and also features Summer Storm
with Norman Brown, Chante Moore, Paul Taylor and Alex Bugnon,
Pieces of a Dream, Steve Cole and Nils.

Tickets go on sale January 26th

For tickets please visit: www.yourjazz.com

May 22, 23, 24 & 25, 2008
Bobby Caldwell Show
Jazz Alley - Seattle
2033 6th Ave
Showtimes:
May 22nd 7:30PM
May 23rd 7:30 & 9:30PM
May 24th 7:30 & 9:30PM
May 25th 7:30PM
(206) 441-9729
www.ticketmaster.com

May 29 - June 1
Bobby Caldwell Show
The Rrazz Room
Nikko Hotel
222 Mason St.
San Francisco, CA 94102
Showtimes:
May 29th 8:00PM
May 30th 8:00PM & 10:30PM
May 31st 8:00PM & 10:30PM
June 1st 7:00PM
Tickets and Information
866-468-3399

More to Come

Sincerely,
Lisa Allen
Bobby Caldwell Entertainment

HIGHLANDER!

THE ONE AND ONLY, THE ORIGINAL --HIGHLANDER.

BEST USE OF QUEEN'S MUSIC EVER!

QUEEEN OF SWORDS!

QUEEN OF SWORDS -- BEHIND THE MASK!


ALONG WITH HIGHLANDER, THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE EXAMPLES OF THIS TYPE OF CREATIVE LOW BUDGET SHOW!

HOPEFULLY, THIS WILL COME OUT ON DVD AT SOME POINT!

HONEYDRIPPER!

HONEYDRIPPER!

Honeydripper, a waxworks re-creation of a tiny Alabama town in 1950 from writer-director John Sayles, is worth catching if only to watch Tyrone (Pine Top) Purvis (Danny Glover) reflect on the origins of jazz piano.

Sitting down at his instrument, the proprietor of the Honeydripper Lounge imagines a scene in which a curious house slave is left alone in the parlor with the master's piano. Having listened intently to the polite minuets played by the family he serves, he gingerly runs his hands over the keys and then pecks out music of his own.

Moments like these almost make you forget what a stiff so much of "Honeydripper" can be. Sayles, who mined the past in the excellent "Matewan" (1987) and "Eight Men Out" (1988), has a superb eye for detail. From cars to clothes, from dusty sunrises to the peeling paint on the juke joint wall, the movie creates an evocative setting for the often stagy story.

Knowing he's in danger of losing his business, Pine Top stakes everything he has to book blues sensation Guitar Sam for a weekend gig. When the musician doesn't show, the owner remembers Sonny (Gary Clark Jr.), the young drifter with a guitar slung over his shoulder whom he staked to a meal the day before. Because the locals know Sam only from records and the radio, a ruse just might work.

It's best, however, to forget the story here and focus on those small moments that shine in any Sayles film. Consider the part in which Sonny, forced to harvest cotton after being arrested for vagrancy, gets a lesson in picking from an old hand: You have to bend a certain way, find your own rhythm, and unless you're getting paid by the bushel, don't pick too fast.

True to form, Sayles doesn't move his camera around much, even when Sonny takes the stage with his homemade electric guitar during the film's climax. The scene relies on the considerable charms of Clark, a real-life Austin, Texas, musician who finds the movie's laid-back rhythm while symbolically inventing rock 'n' roll onstage that night.

Although other dramatic events happen in the course of the film, there are only two times when the characters speak above a whisper. One happens when Pine Top uses money that his wife, Delilah (Lisa Gay Hamilton), has been saving for daughter China Doll (Yaya DaCosta from "America's Next Top Model"). The other happens when Pine Top thrusts himself in the middle of a fight that threatens to erupt in his club. Blue-toned flashbacks reveal that he knows the repercussions a heated act like this can bring.

Even the Jim Crow-era bigotry is underplayed as the sheriff (Stacy Keach) uses his power mostly to get Delilah to cook him a decent meal. Later, Delilah and the white woman she cleans for (Mary Steenburgen) share a conversation about marriage and raising children in the kind of scene that would be a throwaway in anyone else's film.

The ironic thing is that the harder Sayles plays with conceptions about race, the more his characters fall into comfortable types. Still, you can't deny the fondness that the filmmaker holds for these people and the basic humanity he has spent his career depicting on the screen. That alone makes "Honeydripper" worth a look.

SONNY'S BLUES!

SONNY'S BLUES!

Reading James Baldwin's prose has always seemed like listening to a special sort of jazz; word jazz that captures the rhythm, counterpoint and emotion that seems to sigh and soar in the spaces between thoughts on the page.

San Francisco's Word for Word, has taken Baldwin's "Sonny's Blues" a step further, giving the mid-'50s short story theatrical voice and setting it to music by Marcus Shelby to create a complex and thoroughly engaging piece of theater.

The show, which opens Friday at San Francisco's Lorraine Hansberry Theatre (this review is based on Wednesday's preview performance), and runs through March 2, is an examination of the intersecting lives of two brothers, played by Peter Macon, an algebra teacher and Da'Mon Vann, who plays Sonny, a jazz musician.

Brother, is seven years older than Sonny, and, although they grew up in the same home and neighborhood, is vastly different. He is a straight-shooter, appalled by almost everything about Sonny, from the heroin habit to his choice of friends.

Yet there is also an enormous love and connection between the two brothers, whose vast differences keep them at constant loggerheads, yet fail to break the significant bond that neither prison nor time can break.

The story, which includes other family members, friends and assorted characters in the Harlem neighborhood, plays like a jazz suite and ultimately arrives at a jazz club, where Sonny shows Brother how the blues and the jazz allow him to communicate and exorcise his demons like nothing else will.

And, all the while, Shelby's music plays, sometimes softly, sometimes taking center stage, but always tantalizing and driving the action.

"Sonny's Blues," has a cast of six -- Macon and Vann play the brothers throughout, other cast members, Mujahid Abdul-Rashid, Robert Hampton, Allison L. Payne and Margarette Robinson, play multiple roles.

The story is told on a sparse set, a few movable pieces, a bit of greenery, an urban apartment backdrop and a large fence, yet it has a richness of words that fill in the details. Director Margo Hall takes full advantage of the remarkable range of her actors, and moves them in an almost dreamlike ballet to create the enormous variety of settings and situations in the story.

"Sonny's Blues," by James Baldwin
Lorraine Hansberry Theatre, 620 Sutter St., San Francisco
8 p.m. Wednesdays-Saturdays, 2 p.m. Sundays through March 2
90 minutes
$22-$36
415-474-8800, http://www.lhtsf.org or http://www.zspace.org

AMY WINEHOUSE TO WRITE AND SING NEW BOND THEME!

AMY WINEHOUSE TO WRITE AND SING NEW BOND THEME TUNE – IF SHE KICKS THE DRUGS!

www.showbizspy.com reeports troubled Amy Winehouse will get to write the theme tune and sing the theme tune for the new James Bond movie - if she can stay off the drugs for two months, it has been revealed.

The ‘Back to Black’ songstress - who’s currently battling her drugs demons in a London rehab clinic - has been told by film bosses she must clean up her act by April to make the record.
A source said last night: "That’s when the Bond people make a final decision on who sings the theme. If Amy is clean then, it’s hers."

Yesterday, the 24-year-old soul diva escaped rehab for a few hours - and was given the boost by film bosses - despite some people around her doubting she would be fit enough to even sing the song let alone write it.

An insider said of the new film, Quantum Of Solace, starring Daniel Craig as the suave spy: "It will have a dark and moody feel so Amy would be absolutely perfect.

"It’s another fantastic carrot being dangled to encourage her to give up drugs."

Previous singers of the Bond theme tune include Madonna, Paul McCartney, Duran Duran, Sheryl Crow & Garbage.

Last night, the bee-hived star was still waiting on tenterhooks to hear if she’ll be allowed a US visa to attend Sunday’s prestigious Grammy Awards in L.A. - where’s she up for an impressive SIX awards.

Amy also paid a visit to her incarcerated hubby Blake Fielder-Civil, who’s locked up in London’s Pentonville prison awaiting a court appearance over assault and trial-fixing allegations.
She also went to a restaurant with her cab driver dad Mitch, 57, and pals.

At one point she reportedly headed for the bar, telling staff: "I’ve just got out of rehab - I’m dying for a tequila."

THE 39 STEPS -- ON BROADWAY!

THE 39 STEPS ON BROADWAY!

Info from our blog buddy at: http://www.doubleosection.blogspot.com/

Being isolated in the smog-bubble of L.A. is advantageous in terms of keeping up with film and television news (and for the opportunity to see lots of classics on the big screen), but may also be why I'm a little behind on my theater.

As sophisticated New Yorkers and Londoners will no doubt already be aware (but I only just became), John Buchan's seminal spy novel The 39 Steps has been adapted into a play and is now on Broadway. Only it's not Buchan who gets the possessive; it's Alfred Hitchcock.

The Hollywood Reporter explains that thusly: "The Hitch reference comes from the fact that though 'Steps' initially was a 1915 novel by John Buchan, this particular adaptation is an almost scene-for-scene spoof/interpretation of Hitchcock's 1935 movie version that starred Robert Donat and Madeleine Carroll."

Robert Osborne, The Reporter's reviewer, goes on to rave about the production, which apparently uses a cast of only four actors and minimal sets to great effect. I hope this is still running next time I manage to get to New York; I'm anxious to check it out! In the meantime, I and any other interested parties can satisfy our curiosity with a number of clips from the production available on the theater's website. (They also have the entire movie available for free online viewing.)

JAMES BOND -- QUANTUM OF SOLACE POSTER ARTWORK!

JAMES BOND -- QUANTUM OF SOLACE POSTER ARTWORK!

A COP'S WORST NIGHTMARE!

I normally don't post things like this, especially due to the graphic nature of this subject. However, this is something that cannot be ignored.

I sincerely hope the perpetrator is found and punished to the greatest extent of the law.


Everyone serving in law enforcement prays they'll never get a call like this.


Warning! The photo is extremely graphic. Not for the weak hearted.

LOUNGE LIZARDS IN EXILE NEWSLETTER!

LOUNGE LIZARDS IN EXILE NEWSLETTER!

For those of us involved with MartiniInTheMorning.com, the last few days have been bittersweet. On January 31st 2008, we observed the 2nd anniversary of what was essentially the end of Fabulous 570/690, the Southern California radio station we started in 2002 with a goal of returning Our Music to its rightful place at the top of our country's (and the world's) pop music scene. January 31st was the day Jim, Daisy, Lou, Gary, Paul, Leah, Lara, Charlie, Kelly and I left the air, counting down the Last 100 Songs as voted by Fabulous 690 listeners.

As I write this, it is Midnight, Wednesday, February 6th. That is the time when 2 years ago, the new owners took over and the station switched to its current Spanish language programming. What could possibly be sweet about that bitter turn of events? The fact that with the encouragement of our listeners, we launched MartiniInTheMorning.com and began streaming on September of 2006. Our focus on the Internet and other new broadcast technologies like HD Radio will allow us to reach a much broader audience than was available to us on a little AM radio station in Southern California.

With HUNDREDS of radio stations who played (an often older) a version of our format, having gone off the air, what can you do to help us reverse that trend? There are a number of things:

 Tell your friends, family and even total strangers to give MartiniInTheMorning.com a try. In fact if you forward this email to them, all they need to is click on any of the MartiniInTheMorning.com links to reach our website, then click on the Listen Online link.

 You can also help financially. We have decided, at least for the time being, to refuse traditional radio commercials. Many radio stations run between 15 and 20 minutes of commercials each hour. While we could make a substantial amount of money with that much commercial time, we have instead chosen to seek other means of financing MartiniInTheMorning.com.

 You can click JOIN and become a member of our Premium Lounge or Lush Lounge.

 Soon, we will also ask you to allow us to screen a 10 to 15 second TV commercial while the MartiniInTheMorning.com stream is loading on your computer.

 We are also in the process of improving the content of our website itself, giving you lots of reasons to visit frequently. This will allow us to sell graphical ads that will also bring in much needed revenue.

 And finally, tuning in nights and weekends will help us dramatically. To that end, we encourage you to consider the many WiFi radio options for listening to MartiniInTheMorning.com. Read on for details on how you can win Brad's personal Phoenix WiFi Radio THIS WEEKEND (February 8-10) so you can listen without your computer!

Thank you for your support of MartiniInTheMorning.com and Our Music!

Brad "Martini" Chambers

WIN BRAD'S ALMOST NEW WIFI RADIO FEB 8-10 LISTEN TO WIN!

We are constantly working to make it easier to listen to MartiniInTheMorning.com easier to listen to at home. So many of our listeners tell us they love listening to MartiniInTheMorning.com at work - but since they're sitting in front of a computer all week at work, they DON'T want to use a computer nights and weekends at home. Enter this WiFi radio.

Not only do you NOT need your computer on, but this radio can even be unplugged from the power outlet and carried around the house, say from the kitchen to the bedroom! And if you think about it, where would you rather hear a song like I'm In The Mood for Love? At work? Or at HOME?

You could win this WiFi radio only slightly used by Brad to evaluate it, set the tuner push buttons ALL to MartiniInTheMorning.com and get it ready for you to win! Beginning Friday, February 8th at 5:00 pm (PST) and continuing through Sunday, February 10th at 7:00 pm (PST), listen for the sound of radio tuner static, like on a traditional over the air radio.

It will be QUITE obvious and easy to pick out. When you hear it, click on the picture of the Phoenix WiFi Radio on the front page of our website. There will be very simple contest entry form to fill out, and you will be entered in a drawing to win Brad's WiFi Radio. The winner will be announced Monday, February 11th after 9:00 am PST. Good Luck.

PROFILES IN EXILE

It takes a community to restore OUR MUSIC to its rightful place in America's Pop Culture.

Our Profiles in Exile introduce you to your fellow Lounge Lizards in Exile - People from widely varied backgrounds, linked together by a love for OUR MUSIC and the lifestyle for which it is the soundtrack.

Jasmina Blagojevic is a 23 year old college student in Jagodina, Serbia, studying to be a school teacher. She lives in nearby Kragujevic, Serbia

Bryan Duff is 47, lives in Thousand Oaks, CA and is a movie studio Property Master in Hollywood.

What do Californian Bryan and Serbian Jasmina have in common? They both LOVE Dean Martin. Until recently, Bryan was, perhaps, the #1 Dean Martin fan in the world. But along comes Jasmina who, when she didn't hear her Dean Martin requests played on MartiniInTheMorning.com, she started shipping her personal Dean Martin music collection to our North Hollywood, CA studios, one song at a time. Bryan might be #2, but he's trying harder.

Most importantly, despite their many differences, like everyone in our Profiles in Exile, Bryan and Jasmina all share one thing in common - they LOVE OUR MUSIC and they both listen to MartiniInTheMorning.com.

Visit our Profiles in Exile, get to know your fellow Lounge Lizards in Exile, then fill out the questionnaire and submit your picture. Once your profile and picture are posted, you'll be eligible for daily drawings during our Two Martini Lunch (Noon Pacific Time) for great prizes like LLIE t-shirts. And while you're reading about your fellow LLIEs, you're likely to think of friends, family members, even complete strangers who, although different from you, are likely to enjoy listening to OUR MUSIC. Drop them an email or give them a call to encourage them to listen to MartiniInTheMorning.com.

YOU are our marketing department!

STEVE TYRELL BACK IN HOLLYWOOD!

He's Home!

After his annual holiday run in New York, Steve Tyrell returns to Southern California for 2 weeks at Catalina's Bar & Grill 6725 West Sunset Blvd in Hollywood. See Steve Tuesday February 5th through Saturday February 9th, then Valentine's Day, Thursday February 14th through Sunday February 17th. Click here for complete information.

You can count on Steve to do all the great, Swingin' Standards and Romantic Ballads he's famous for - plus songs from his soon to be released Back to Bacharach CD, paying tribute to his mentor Burt Bacharach. (Hear excerpts from the CD EXCLUSIVELY on MartiniInTheMorning.com

WIN MITM PRIZES!

Listen for a chance to win stuff!

Listen weekday mornings beginning at 5:00 am PST for a chance to win cool MartiniInTheMorning.com stuff, CDs and more! First thing weekday mornings, you could win The Worm, as in "The Early Bird Catches the Worm." We continue with The Early Morning advantage - and while it is a chance to win MartiniInTheMorning.com stuff - there's another advantage to listen early... it is your opportunity to hear even more of the Greatest Songs Ever Written by listening early (at least it's early by West Coast/USA standards!) So be sure you tune in by 5:00 am Pacific Time Monday through Friday for a chance to win cool stuff!

ADVERTISE YOUR BUSINESS ON MARTINIINTHEMORNING.COM!

Reach thousands of MITM listeners by advertising at MartiniInTheMorning.com. Sponsor on-air features like Sinatra at Six, The Two Martini Lunch, Live at Five, and more. Ad packages include 10 to 15-second TV spots that air while our stream is loading, ads on our website and in newsletters like this one, with links to your website - and mentions on the air from the MartiniInTheMorning.com "Presenters," including Brad & Michelle in the Morning. You'll be doing your business a favor and you'll be helping us keep OUR MUSIC on MartiniInTheMorning.com without dozens of hard core radio ads. For pricing and information call The Standard Media Group (that's us) at (818) 766-SONG (7664).

BUDWEISER CLYDESDAL TEAM COMMERCIAL!

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE OF THE RECENT SUPERBOWL COMMERCIALS -- BUT THEN I ALWAYS HAVE HAD A SOFT SPOT FOR THE MUSIC FROM ROCKY!

ELECTION FEVER GRIPS THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E- ROBERT VAUGHN AT MCCAIN RALLY!

ELECTION FEVER GRIPS THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E- ROBERT VAUGHN AT MCCAIN RALLY!


As election fever sweeps the USA today on Super Tuesday, even The Man From U.N.C.L.E., Robert Vaughn has been caught up in the frenzy. He was spotted a couple of days ago at a rally for John McCain in his home state of Connecticut. His presence at the rally set off a bit of a media frenzy that temporarily stole the spotlight from the candidate.

Vaughn told a reporter he hadn't made up his mind who he was supporting and was there simply to hear McCain speak about his platform. Vaughn, who wrote the book on fighting the forces of evil as Napoleon Solo, said that the key issue in determining who he will vote for is their plan for dealing with radical Islam.

The actor has always been politically involved, dating back to the mid-1960s when he became the first celebrity to publicly protest America's involvement in Vietnam. Hard as it is to believe in present day Hollywood when celebrities won't stop talking about their political beliefs, Vaughn told Cinema Retro that at the time he could find literally no other major star to back him. They were all too timid about offending mainstream America, which was still largely supportive of the war. That would change quickly and by 1968, the celebrity bandwagon was firmly in the protest camp with stars like Paul Newman campaigning for peace candidate Eugene McCarthy. Vaughn will relate his experiences in politics in his forthcoming autobiography which will be published this fall.

RAL DONNER -- LOVELESS LIFE

AN UNDERAPPRECIATE '50s AND '60's SINGER WHO OUT ELVISES ELVIS!

PERUVIAN SURFING CAT IS MAKING WAVES!

PERUVIAN SURFING CAT IS MAKING WAVES!

Sporting animals are nothing new - horseracing, polo and other equestrian classics notwithstanding, recent years have seen YouTube's famous skateboarding dog and a sports-mad pigeon trying a little too hard to get involved in baseball.

A surfing cat, however, is something different.

Domingo Pianezzi, of Lima, Peru, believes that his small cat Nicolasa enjoys catching tubes almost as much as catching mice.

This unexpected feline pastime was apparently discovered when Domingo took Nicolasa to Lima's San Bartolo beach and the young moggy leapt on board.

While the popular myth may have it that cats can't stand water, Nicolasa seems quite content on the open waves.

It has even been suggested by some commentators that she might have what it takes to turn pro - after all, her technique here is excellent, "hanging ten" with all claws hooked round the edge of the board.

However, an alternative theory might be that, since once she is out on the water the only dry place is on top of the surfboard, Nicolasa is not so much surfing as hanging on like grim death.

After all, even given the most charitable interpretation of this photo, most observers would be hard-pressed to say that she looks like she's enjoying herself.

GUMSHOE REVIEW!

GUMSHOE REVIEW!

THE LATEST ISSUE OF THE GUMSHOE REVIEW IS AVAILABLE NOW:

http://www.gumshoereview.com/

CONTENTS THIS MONTH INCLUDE:

EDITORIAL LICENSE:

Just the Facts - February 2008 by Gayle Surrette

INTERVIEW/REVIEW:

Interview: Steve Hockensmith by Gayle Surrette

The Black Dove: A Holmes on the Range Mystery by Steve Hockensmith

COLUMNS:

US Books - Gumshoe Staff

Graphic Novels/Manga - Gumshoe Staff

Media - Gumshoe Staff

Zines & Short Fiction - Gumshoe Staff

News - Gumshoe Staff

Conventions - Gumshoe Staff

NO FARTING RULE TO BE ENFORCED!

MIDDLE SCHOOL ISSUES BAN ON INTENTIONAL FLATULENCE!

The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus.

According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"

According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school.

"They would do it in science class and other places," said Jordan Tyler. "It's a natural occurrence and we all do it 16 times a day."

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn't remember where they heard it.

One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.

Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, "It's gross."

Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences.

Attempts to reach CRMS Principal Maria Libby Friday afternoon were unsuccessful and school Superintendent Patricia Hopkins said she had not heard anything about the issue or the alleged suspected result, though she did get a good chuckle out of the news.

AUTHOR JAMES REASONER -- FIRE!

AUTHOR JAMES REASONER - FIRE!

Longtime friend, prolific western writer, and WWA member James Reasoner and wife Livia lost their house and studio, and all their belongings, in a fire earlier this week. They're OK, as are their dogs and children, but got out with only their clothes they were wearing. Books, pulps, comics, everything else, gone. "This is totally overwhelming," James says.

To help the family, Western Writers of America and Kensington Books have agreed to make sizable contributions and ask anyone who would also like to contribute to send cash donations to the WWA Executive Director's office in Albuquerque, N.M. Make the check out to Western Writers of America and put in the memo that the money is for the James Reasoner Emergency Fund.

Checks should be mailed to:

WWAMSC06 37701

University of New Mexico

Albuquerque, NM 87131-0001

Since James and Livia also lost their sizable library, donations are also being sought to help restock their bookcases whenever they have a new home. Kim Lionetti, Livia's agent at BookEnds, has generously agreed to accept any BOOK donations and keep them until the Reasoners have a place to put them. Books should be sent to:

Kim Lionetti

BookEnds Inc.

136 Long Hill Road

Gillette, NJ 07933

Our thoughts and prayers are with James, Livia and family during this trying time. Thanks for your help.

STEVE TYRELL UPDATE!

STEVE TYRELL UPDATE!

Grammy Winner Steve Tyrell is back from a sold-out run at the exclusive Carlyle in Manhattan and in Los Angeles to play two weeks at Catalina Bar and Grill on Sunset Blvd. with two shows Thursday through Saturday (8:30PM and 10:30PM).

As well as performing favorites from his previous 6 albums, he will also be playing tunes from his upcoming CD release "Back to Bacharach" (May 2008 from KOCH).
These new additions to his repetoire are near and dear to his heart as he started his career working with the legendary Burt Bacharach and Hal David.

www.stevetyrell.com

February 5th through 9th, and February 14th through 17th

Catalina Bar and Grill

6725 Sunset Blvd Los Angeles, CA323-466-2210

Catalinajazzclub.com

Press contact:Tom Estey Publicity & Promotion

TJE6464@aol.com

508-451-5246

JONNY BLUE @ VITELLO'S - FEB 7TH!

JONNY BLU @ VITELLO'S -- FEB 7TH!

HERE'S A GREAT CHANCE TO CATCH ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SWINGING JAZZ CROONERS, JONNY BLU !

PRE-VALENTINE'S DAY SHOW!!!

FEBRUARY 7th in LOS ANGELES!!!

TIME: 8-10 PM

LOCATION: VITELLO'S STUDIO CITY

ADDRESS: 4349 Tujunga AvenueStudio City, CA 91604

COST: $10

CALL: (818) 769-0905 FOR RESERVATIONS NOW!!!

THOMAS S. MONSON NAMED 16TH CHURCH PRESIDENT!

THOMAS S. MONSON NAMED 16th CHURCH PRESIDENT!

Thomas S. Monson is the new president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it was announced today at a news conference in the Church Office Building. President Monson, 80, succeeds President Gordon B. Hinckley, who died 27 January.

The new world leader of the Church has called to serve with him in the First Presidency, the top governing body of the 13-million-member faith, President Henry B. Eyring, 74, first counselor, and President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, 67, second counselor.

President Boyd K. Packer, 83, is the new president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. The vacancy in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles will be filled later.

POLITICS DEFINED!

POLITICS DEFINED!

DEMOCRACY

You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for beingsuccessful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICANISM

You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

SOCIALIST

You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST

You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive andsour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan , which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATIONYou have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half.The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one.Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both.Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Many are illegal. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

THE OFFICIAL FEMME NOIR WEBSITE NOW LIVE!

THE OFFICIAL FEMME NOIR WEBSITE NOW LIVE!

Our blog buddy Chris Mills from www.atomic-pulp.blogspot.com/ tells us the official web site for his new comic title, Femme Noir, is now live at www.femme-noir.com.

The site will be the primary outlet for news and updates about the forthcoming Femme Noir: The Dark City Diaries comic book miniseries from Ape Entertainment, as well as the new home of the original Femme Noir webcomics adventures – Cold, Dead Fingers, An Eye for A Spy, and Chambers of Horror.

There's also a gallery of the best Noir pin-ups from Chris' old Supernatural Crime site, creator bios, reviews and more.Additionally, Chris' othe new title, Perils on Planet X, is also on line with a website at www.perilsonplanetx.com!

Both sites were designed by Chris, with coding and substantial design improvements by his multi-talented spouse, Brandi. Swing by and check it all out.

WANTED -- TRAILER

THE NEXT MATRIX?

BEST / WORST BOND GIRLS EVER!

BEST / WORST BOND GIRLS EVER!

Denise Richards has a curious distinction in the world of 007, but it's one she'd rather live without.

The 36-year-old actress was named the Worst Bond Girl Ever by fans, reports the UK's Daily Mail from an unscientific poll.Richards played nuclear physicist Christmas Jones (you call her Dr. Jones!), a scientist with a penchant for midriff-baring tanktops and short shorts, in 1999's "The World is Not Enough" opposite Pierce Brosnan playing the British super spy.

One fan commented, "Even Q didn't have a gadget to escape from that disaster."

The second most-hated Bond girl was former "Charlie's Angels"/"That '70s Show" actress Tanya Roberts who played geologist Stacey Sutton in 1985's "A View to a Kill."

The original Bond girl Ursula Andress was named the best for playing Honey Ryder in "Dr. No." Her emergence from the water is an iconic scene.

Second in line for praise is ex-"Avengers" star Honor Blackman, who played the colorfully named Pussy Galore in "Goldfinger."

Blackman was noted for "introducing fans to the series' first real woman -- a gorgeous dame who can fly and plane and kick butt as well as coo and woo.

"The full lists of Worst and Best Bond Girls follow:

WORST BOND GIRLS

1. Denise Richards as Dr Christmas Jones in "The World Is Not Enough"

2. Tanya Roberts as Stacey Sutton in "A View To A Kill"

3. Corrine Clery as Corinne Dufour in "Moonraker"

4. Maryam D'Abo as Kara Milovy in "The Living Daylights"

5. Karin Dor as Helga Brandt in "You Only Live Twice"

6. Britt Ekland as Mary Goodnight in "The Man With the Golden Gun"

7. Carey Lowell as Pam Bouvier in "License to Kill"

8. Lois Chiles as Holly Goodhead in "Moonraker"

9. Lynn-Holly Johnson as Lili Bahl in "For Your Eyes Only"

10. Maud Adams as Octopussy in, you guessed it, "Octopussy"

BEST BOND GIRLS

1. Ursula Andress as Honey Ryder in "Dr. No"

2. Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore in "Goldfinger"

3. Diana Rigg as Tracey Divicenzo in "On Her Majesty's Secret Service"

4. Eva Green as Vesper Lynd in "Casino Royale"

5. Barbara Bach as Anya Amasova in "The Spy Who Loved Me"

6. Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp in "Goldeneye"

7. Michelle Yeoh as Wai Lin in "Tommorrow Never Dies"

8. Lotte Enya as Rosa Klebb in "From Russia With Love"

9. Jill St. John as Tiffany Case in "Diamonds Are Forever"

10. Carole Bouquet as Melina Havelock in "For Your Eyes Only"

THE DETECTIVES -- GREAT COMIC!

THE DETECTIVES

Here's a great offer from our blog buddy Christopher Mills (comic book writer extrodinair -- check out the upcoming Femme Noir) from his blog:

http://gunsinthegutters.blogspot.com/

GET IN WHILE THE GETTING'S GOOD!

Back in 1993, while I (Chris Mills) was Editorial Director of a small, B&W comics company called Alpha Productions, I persuaded the publisher to allow me to put together a 48-page, squarebound comics anthology featuring new stories of some of comics' greatest private eye characters. I originally wanted to call it Shamus, but it eventually saw print as The Detectives.

Counting the 1923 publication of the first "Race Williams" story by Carroll John Daly and the first "Continental Op" story by Dashiell Hammett as the birth of the private eye genre, I called the book a 70th Anniversary Celebration, and set out to include as many creators and characters as I could fit in.

Beneath a cover by fan-favorite artist Adam Hughes, there was a text introduction by mystery writer Ed Gorman, a new Michael Mauser, Private Eye adventure by Nicola Cuti and Joe Staton, a new MAZE Agency mystery by Mike W.Barr, Paul Pelletier and Bob Cram, a Tony Bravado, Trouble-Shooter story by Dave Darrigo and Peter Grau, and – in the volume's only reprint – a Johnny Dynamite story from the 1950's. I wanted a Ms. Tree story, but that character was tied up by DC Comics at the time, so Max Allan Collins and Terry Beatty contributed a new Mike Mist Mist-ery instead. Filling out the last page in the book was a pin-up drawing of Ted Slampyak's P.I. character, Ace Mifflin, of The Jazz Age Chronicles.

There were two versions of the book – it was the 90's, after all – a standard edition with a red logo, and a "limited" edition with the logo printed in metallic gold ink. If memory serves, it was one of the best-selling books the company ever published, and I've recently found online dealers selling the standard edition for around $10 and the gold edition for twice that.

So what prompted this little stroll down Nostalgia Avenue?

Well, last night I found a box full of gold edition copies of The Detectives in my parents' basement. And, since the book's both kinda hard to find these days and, apparently, expensive if you can, I thought I'd make this once-in-a-lifetime gathering of comic book P.I.'s available again to GITG readers. So, if you're interested in getting your mitts on a mint-condition copy, I'm letting 'em go for just five bucks each, postage included. While supplies last, natch.

Orders can be made via Paypal sent to atomicpulp@gmail.com. If you don't do PayPal, and want to make other payment arrangements, contact me at the same address, and we'll work something out.

NEW KNIGHT RIDER PROMO!

ONE OF MY FAVORITE SILLY SHOWS FROM THE '80s!